Helping your Child Learn Without Stress

I thought of doing my own research and came up with my own article as to how my eldest son, PJ, will learn and enjoy school without feeling/becoming stressed. Since he'd be going to school this school opening or maybe next year when he turns four, I want him to have fun every moment of his school days.

A person, whether a child or an adult, is not really truly alive without stress. Call it great expectations. Name it pressure. Term it as big challenges. Whatever its label the result is the same: stress. But stress itself is not a bad thing. In all methods of learning there is stress.

Getting children learn effectively without any stress is a hard nut to crack. But one thing that is almost always true is that for children to learn, they should enjoy the learning process as much as possible. Being pressured to learn something will never make children wanting to learn - the most successful teaching is when learning almost comes as a by-product of enjoyment.

Here are some things you need to know on how your child can learn without becoming stressed.

Be responsive and communicative.

Listen to your children. Don't just talk to them, but communicate. Recognize and accept their needs. Show constant love, support and presence whether on successful times or during failures. Don't just reward them when they got an A+, praise them. Tell them how proud and happy you are. On the other hand, support them on times of trouble.

If they failed an exam or an experiment went wrong, allow them to express their feelings. What is important is for them to know that you are there and you love and support them.

Communication also means negotiating home rules, including consequences for rule breaking. Stick to the rules. Home rules are one of the ways in providing your kids a stable home environment. This bring opportunities for kids to learn their lesson in a proper way through their mistakes (if ever they intend to break the rules).

Encourage children to express feelings.

Allow children to release the pressure within them and offload their feelings. Respond to whatever they may be going through by letting them know that you are there and that you care. Let's say for instance, exams! They can pressure your children without you noticing it. Don't add to the pressure by forcing your kids to study. Ask, “What subject do you want to study first?”, “How do you want to study?” Listen attentively and calmly to whatever response your kids give – with patience, openness and interest.

If something went wrong at school, perhaps a conflict between your child and his classmate. Don't judge, blame, yell, lecture or tell your kids what they should have done instead. The focus is to let your children's concerns be heard. Encourage your kids to share the whole story by asking questions. Take your time but allow them to take their time first. Acknowledge whatever emotions your children are expressing, this will let them know and feel that their bright and dark sides are wholly accepted and welcome.

Have fun being together

Allow your kids to learn through play and encourage them to develop naturally their individual pace. Let them lead when they play and just follow, rather than trying to direct or teach them. Only them know what and when they are ready to learn.

Enjoy your kids' company and allow them to be themselves. Give them the empowering and comforting message through your interactions that they are enough.

Promote play as therapy.

Nurture the habit of continuous, self-directed play so that your kids have plenty of opportunities to benefit from play's therapeutic effect. As your kids grow, continue to offer lots of downtime between activities. Cherish daydreams and puttering.

You may suggest activities kids can do or encourage them to think of a couple of ideas. Support good ideas and add to them if needed. Ask, “How do you think this will work?” Sometimes talking, listening and feeling understood is all what your kids needed to have that will aid in their learning process.

Set up a daily routine.

Routines are good and they help alleviate stress. Setting up a regular get-up time, bath time and bedtime is essential at any age. It also helps children learn to develop routines themselves.

Along with routines, goes time management. It's important to encourage your children plenty of time to work on their studies if they want to do well, and this can save them from a lot of stress if they plan ahead with good management skills. Of course, you're there to guide them along the way.

Help children learn from their mistakes.

There must be a balance between setting limits, being open to communicating, and punishment. When children misbehave, and for sure they will, try to understand their behavior instead of merely punishing it. When children come to expect only punishment, they're not going to tell you what they are doing. Parents were created to be their little ones' gentle, emphatic leaders.

Get Organized

Encourage your children a system of organization even at an early age for note-taking, keeping track of assignments and other important papers. Being organized can give you and your children peace of mind that comes from knowing where everything is, remembering exam dates, and so on. Keep a calendar or a schedule, together with your children, for their school assignment, project deadlines – and you'll find it prevents a great deal of stress.

Make a pleasant study environment.

Begin with identifying which spot in the house your children are most comfortable to study. A soothing environment can reduce stress and help kids learn. You may play classical music as your kids study to soothe them, unless they find it distracting.

Give your kids enough sleep.

If you want your children's performance be optimum, then they need to be well-rested. Research shows that those who are deprived of sleep have more trouble learning and remembering. Power naps are great too. Make sure your kids can take power naps or not too tired before they study.

Hope this article will be of big help to you. I'll surely be happy to make more articles geared toward parenthood and schooling for my readers. :)

The Other Little Man - Bien

So as promised on my last post, here's a quick story about my second son, the youngest for now. I and my husband still wish for a baby girl, though.

Some of his latest photos:

I had a C-Section on my first boy so it wasn't advisable for a mom who has just been on a CS to bear a child again, at least for 2 years. Much to my surprise and to my husband, I was pregnant once again when my little one, PJ, was merely 9 months old. I had to say it was really difficult for me since I had to continue working to support our finances while at the same time saving for the due date. I juggled work and motherhood, and being a wife too. I needed to wake up at wee hours to bottle-fed PJ which could probably one of the reasons I was anemic during my pregnancy, then get up at 5 am to prepare for work. As they say preggies need to have lots of rest but to my dismay, I wasn't given many opportunities to have it. Anyway, the 9 months passed by so quickly and through GOD'S AMAZING GRACE, I had a normal delivery. No fundal push. No Oxytocin. Just Nipple Stimulation (which I didn't believe to be effective when I was still a nursing student/nurse intern). And of course, I couldn't be grateful enough for my OB. She's the best in town. Imagine, she attends to about 20 patients a day. Although she was kind of strict on my weight gain and diet because we both wanted to have a normal delivery, she was very motherly. She treated me with so much kindness and sincerity. No wonder why she gets to have lots of patients.

Here are his first few photos. I was able to have him on the 3^rd day because he went on an antibiotic treatment which was due to my UTI. It was such a painful moment for me not being able to hold my dear baby close to me and had almost no idea how he was since the nursery room was a bit far from my room.

So much for that, I want to tell you that I had the most painful experience on my entire existence during the last 2 hours of my labor. You wouldn't know how painful labor pains are until you get to experience them. I was just so thankful for the pieces of advice slash tips-for-faster-and-less-painful-labor my loved ones and my OB kept on telling me. If it weren't for those things, I might have undergone a long and very very very painful labor. Btw, I went to the hospital at around 1 am where I was already 4 cm dilated. Then by 5 am it was about 7 cm and by 7:30, I was transferred into the delivery room. Remembering the pains I had, I just wouldn't want to be pregnant again, not even in my imagination. Yes, that's me being very honest to the point of hurting my hubby. But, a big BUT, if we are financially equipped the moment we decide to have a baby again, I'll have CS. Haha. When I gave birth to my first boy, I reached 7 cm with so little pain. That's why I never expected labor pains could really be that painful on my second child. BUT, another big but, the happiness I felt when I first heard my baby cried, when the doctors put him on my chest, and when I held him next to me on the recovery room, all the pains were washed away. It was a kind of happiness only a mother could know.

Here he was on his 1^st birthday.

He is now 1 year and 2 months old. Oh, he's getting bigger and naughtier. He walks around the house like a boss! And his older brother the CEO! haha. Before I forget, his name is Procie Benjamin, Bien for short.